When Trying Harder Fails

Lessons from the Bowling Green

I was off to a great start. It was a hot summer afternoon on the bowling green, and I was playing pennant bowls, feeling quietly confident. My first few ends had gone well—I was reading the green accurately, judging the weight of my bowls, and placing them close to the jack. Then, something changed.

A few bowls drifted wider than I expected. My weight control faltered, leaving some shots frustratingly short. I began second-guessing my line, overcorrecting, and misjudging the turn of the bias. My first impulse was the natural one: try harder. I tensed up, gripped the bowl more firmly, concentrated with extra intensity. But the more I strained, the worse it got. My delivery became stiff, my weight control erratic, and the easy rhythm of earlier ends disappeared.

It’s a feeling that any bowler—or indeed, anyone in any pursuit—knows well. When performance starts to slip, our instinct is often to push harder, to force things back on track. But in a sport like lawn bowls, where precision and control are key, brute effort is not the answer. In fact, it’s the problem.

The Limits of Trying Harder

In some sports, “try harder” is excellent advice. If you’re running a sprint, lifting weights, or playing football or some other physically demanding game, increasing effort can directly translate to better results. But in sports that require finesse—like lawn bowls or golf—excess effort leads to tension, and tension disrupts technique.

The same is true in many areas of life. Whether it’s problem-solving, relationships, leadership, or even creativity, sometimes pushing harder doesn’t get us where we want to go. Instead of improving, we become more rigid, less adaptable, and ultimately less effective.

The Right Kind of Effort

The key in bowls—and in life—is knowing when to engage effort and when to release it. Instead of tensing up and forcing every delivery, the best approach is often to step back, breathe, and return to a state of focused relaxation. In bowls, this means trusting the natural rhythm of your delivery, being present to the feel of the bowl in your hand, and letting go of the desperate need to control every variable.

This lesson extends far beyond the bowling green. Consider:

• Creative Work – A writer struggling with writer’s block often finds that forcing words onto the page doesn’t help. Instead, taking a walk, reading something inspiring, or even sleeping on it can allow fresh ideas to emerge naturally.
• Leadership and Decision-Making – A farmer trying to bring his son or daughter into the business may instinctively want to control every decision, ensuring things are done the “right” way. But if he tries too hard to impose his methods, he risks stifling their initiative and enthusiasm. The best approach is often to provide guidance and encouragement while allowing them to develop their own confidence, experience, and way of doing things. True leadership isn’t about holding on too tightly; it’s about knowing when to let go and trust the next generation.
• Relationships – When tensions rise, the instinct to push harder—to argue more forcefully, to fix things immediately—often backfires. Sometimes, a moment of pause, a deep breath, and a willingness to listen do far more to resolve conflict than sheer effort.

From Striving to Flow

This balance between effort and ease is often described as “flow.” It’s that state where skill and challenge meet, where we are fully present, deeply engaged, and everything seems to come naturally. Athletes experience it, musicians describe it, and even in everyday tasks, we recognize those moments when we are so immersed that time seems to disappear.

Flow isn’t achieved by trying harder; it comes from trust, presence, and awareness. In bowls, this means letting the body remember what it knows. In life, it means cultivating patience, stepping back when necessary, and allowing solutions to emerge rather than forcing them.

The Deeper Lesson: Faith and Surrender

This lesson also runs deep in matters of faith and spirituality. Many religious traditions emphasize that true peace, wisdom, and growth don’t come through sheer willpower alone, but through trust, surrender, and openness. The harder we try to force spiritual insight, the more elusive it becomes.

Jesus’ words in Matthew 11:28 come to mind: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Faith isn’t about striving harder to be good, to understand everything, or to fix all that is wrong. It’s about trust—trusting that grace is bigger than our efforts, that love meets us where we are, and that sometimes, letting go is the most faithful thing we can do.

The Lesson from the Green

By the end of my game, I had recognized my mistake. Trying harder had only made things worse. When I finally took a deep breath, loosened my grip, and stopped overthinking each shot, my bowls started finding their mark again.

The lesson is simple but important: not all improvement comes from increased effort. Sometimes, the key to success is not striving harder, but learning when to relax, refocus, and trust in what we already know.

And that’s a lesson worth carrying beyond the green.

This is the gospel, and it’s good news.

Brian Spencer, Minister, Waranga Uniting Churches