It’s not just our abilities and talent that bring us success-but how we the opportunities and setbacks that come to us in life. Intelligence and ability do not automatically become high self-esteem and lead to achieving one’s potential. Here are some good ways in which you can help the people around you to achieve their potential.
1. Believe in them
We all have self-doubts from time to time. Our confidence is shaken. We lack the faith in our talents and skills. Having someone believe in you at these times is priceless. You find what you’re looking for. If you’re looking for the best in someone, you’ll see it. If you’re looking for their failings, you’ll see those. And tell them “You can do it.” Write a note. Send a card. Give them a call. Praise them in front of others.
2. Expect a lot
We’re often told not to get our hopes up. We’re encouraged to have realistic expectations. But when it comes to helping others operate at their best, we sometimes have to raise the level of our expectations.
3. Tell the truth
And tell it with compassion. We often avoid telling the hard truth because we don’t want to upset anyone. But telling the truth is a loving act. You may be the only person who can or will say to another what needs to be said. Paul said, “But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.” (Ephesians 4:15)
4. Be a role model
This isn’t about being perfect,part of being a role model is about sharing your vulnerability and failures. Who we are speaks much more loudly than what we say. Be someone who is growing, learning, failing and beginning again. Too often, we miss the value of sharing our failings. We don’t want to be vulnerable so we hold back. In doing so, we deprive others of our experience, our learning and our humanity.
5. Ask good questions
Try not to tell others what to do. Ask good questions in order for them to understand themselves better, to get clear on what the issues are and from there to make good choices. By asking elegant questions, you cause people to think and come up with their own solutions.
6. Spend time with them
We love what we give our time to. By devoting your most precious resource (time) to another individual, you’re showing them that you truly value them and your relationship with them. Invest time in your relationships; it’s what life is made of.
7. Love them unconditionally
It’s all about love. Our most basic needs are to love and be loved. To be loved unconditionally, as God love us. To know that there is nothing you can do that can stop me loving you, opens the door to becoming fully human and fully alive. To realize our potential to live as children of God.

Brian Spencer